Men Are Evil?
Have you ever heard a woman being told, or told a woman, or been told ‘for your own good’ as a woman, that women shouldn’t …
get into a car with a man, be alone in a room or apartment or house or gym or office with a man, dress like 80% of female pop stars, publicly enjoy alcohol, jog in parks alone, live alone, walk outside the house at night, have any kind of sexual contact outside marriage, etc.,
… or if ‘something happens’, by which the speaker means sexual assault, it was her fault?
I can be pretty sure that you have indeed heard some version of that. But let me put that another way, a more explicit way, the way any number of feminists might put it:
Men are fearsome, evil and dangerous predators who can’t be trusted under any circumstances, excepting if they’ve gone through an ancient public ceremony with you while wearing a rented tuxedo.
Personally, I don’t think so badly of men.
Many of them seem rather pleasant company. Polite and humane, even. I’ve known boatloads of men who could be in the presence of a non-virginal woman, perhaps in a positively scandalous outfit or state of inebriation, without it ever occurring to them that this implied her consent for anyone present to do anything they wanted to do to her body for any length of time they saw fit. Since when would you hear anyone say, ‘Yeah, I beat that guy up and called a bunch of my buddies over to join me in tapping that @ss because he was drunk and wearing tight pants’? That would just sound stupid and evil. I think it sounds just as stupid and evil when the drunk person in the tight pants is a woman.
But I’m in the minority.
Amanda Marcotte relays the news that a survey of British attitudes towards rape indicate that 71% of women and 57% of men think rape is the fault of the victim. Attitudes in the US tend not to be much better, and the trend of women being less forgiving holds on this side of the Atlantic, as well. Though as Marcotte says:
… And that’s not even touching the fact that women are told to treat all men like rapists, and then are called man-hating bitches if we take that advice and shove men off, refuse to speak to them, and carefully make sure never to be alone with them. … The only real solution to rape is to stop policing women, and start actually treating rape like a crime.
Because not only is rape a crime, it’s a crime that most men don’t commit. From one of Marcotte’s links, a groundbreaking study indicates that while only 6% of men will commit rape, 4% of men are repeat rapists and also responsible for 28% of violence against women and children. If rape was treated as a serious crime for which the perpetrator was blamed, and these men were prevented from being a further threat to society, the overall rate of violence would go down quite a bit.
Considering that around a third of women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes, realize that these repeat rapists are busy, busy, busy making life worse all around you.
As Marcotte writes, a date that ends with a man and a woman going back to an apartment alone together might end a year and a half later with either a rape trial or a wedding, though more likely, it will end unremarkably in neither an assault nor a lasting relationship. That’s just how it goes. If you don’t date, it’s hard to meet someone you’ll want to be in a relationship with. If you do date, chances are that you’ll end up in a situation that a rapist would take advantage of and yet it usually won’t lead to crime.
But what’s really accomplished by all of this browbeating of women about rape is to end up with a population of browbeaten women, people who are more likely to self-restrict their actions and be psychologically ‘broken’ or submissive. Funny thing, ha ha, submissive women are rapists’ favorite targets. Isn’t that a knee-slapper?
Though when women are encouraged to live under constant threat of violence, which they know they’ll be accused of having either invited or lied about, that doesn’t just create a larger supply of likely rape victims. That creates a public ‘good’ for anyone who wants to take advantage of them, including men who feel entitled to submissive, obedient partners. It creates a public ‘good’ for men who can get ahead of even better qualified women in the job market, because women are perceived as being more psychologically unstable and untrustworthy. It creates a public ‘good’ for politicians who want to use the presumption of public ownership of women’s bodies as cover for divisive policies that increase inequality and child poverty.
Which is to say that men who aren’t rapists benefit from a culture that normalizes rape, mainly by blaming rape on women doing totally normal things like leaving the house, even if those benefits are unwanted. The price is that rape culture constantly lowers expectations for men’s humanity and creates barriers of mistrust to their having good relationships with women–it’s just harder to build a sense of comfort with someone who’s been trained to suspect you of being a sex predator.
That’s why I don’t want to ever get in the habit of treating all men like criminals, it never sounded like a nice way to live. I just want society to stop making excuses for rapists.
I tried to excerpt, I really, really did. But if you want to see the original you should definitely do so – it’s available here.
Write a comment
You need to login to post comments!